Carla Sarett's Blog: Tabitha Ormiston-Smith

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April Foolishness: Grammar without Tears by Tabitha Ormiston-Smith

More April Foolishess, from humorist Tabitha Ormiston-Smith. We've interviewed Tabitha on this blog.

Grammar and humor do not often travel together. But they do in Tabitha's witty opus, GRAMMAR WITHOUT TEARS. She manages to clarify grammatical points (no longer taught in our schools) without boring us to tears. Tabitha hints that she may bring out a new (and expanded) edition of it. But in the meantime, you may purchase a Kindle Edition.

A LOT

Scene: the dining hall at Hampton Court Palace. HENRY VIII is seated at the table, with Anne Boleyn and a number of courtiers. Serving people flit busily back and forth bringing new dishes to the table.

HR: MMMMMM pass the pheasant pass the lark pie pass the wine pass the salt pass the lentil casserole – no wait, that’s disgusting. Pass the turnip surprise.

AB: Henry, do you think you ought to eat quite so much?

HR: Yes. I like to eat alot. Pass the roast beef pass the pease pass the custard.

AB: But Henry, you are increasing at a great rate, and already they’ve had to cut out a hole from the table. And another thing; you said ‘ALOT’. When we ALLOT something, we are assigning it to a person or category; for example, I might allot the yellow flowers in the tapestry we are making to a particular one of my ladies; besides, then it’s spelt differently. When you mean a great deal of something, it is ‘A LOT’; always two words.

HR: Yes, dear. Pass the capons pass the pickled cows’ udders pass the whale steaks.

AB: How much of the cows’ udders would you like? A LOT, or just a little?

HR: Cunning wench. Of course, A LOT. Pass the trifle pass the pears pass the numbles.

AB: There you are, dear. Now are you clear on the difference between ALLOT and ALOT?

HR. Watch it, Anne. I also like to execute wives A LOT. Pass the wine pass the spotted dick pass the sausages pass the roast swan....

Interview with Humorist and Author, Tabitha Ormiston-Smith

One of the delights of Facebook is discovering new writers. I found Tabitha Ormiston-Smith in a Facebook group, and to my joy, she has authored a funny charming books about grammar (yes, grammar.) I’ve also had the pleasure of being a contributor in short story collections in which both of us have appeared. She is the author of Dance of Chaos, Gift of Continence, Grammar Without Tears and a variety of short fiction.

SARETT: Are you funny in real life -- or just funny in fiction? What led you to the comic side of the writerly aisle?

Ormiston-Smith: Oh, no. With me, funny goes right to the bone, and has done all my life. Even at school I was always the class clown. It is my modus vivendi.

SARETT: I find in writing comedy that pace seems all-important. If it is too slow, the writing feels flat-- whereas in drama, you can linger over, say, the light coming in through the forest. What’s your feeling?

Ormiston-Smith: I completely agree. You have to keep it moving, and if you try to dwell too long on something funny, it goes off. Just as in court you must make your point and move on or incur the judge’s displeasure, so with humour it is vital to keep your touch light.

SARETT: In a comic novel, lots of stuff that can seem scary in other forms (like corpses, for example) are treated lightly. What’s the secret to making it funny?

Ormiston-Smith: If you see it as funny yourself, you can show that to the reader. If you don’t, I think it is better not to try.

SARETT: There’s that saying, dying is easy, comedy is hard. True or not?

Ormiston-Smith: Well, comedy is what comes naturally to me, so I don’t know that I agree with that; on the other hand, it seems that dying comes easily to most people too; at least, I have never heard of anyone failing in the endeavour.

SARETT: There are lot of rules about what’s good writing and what’s bad. Is there any writing rule that you secretly enjoy breaking?

Ormiston-Smith: Absolutely! My two published novels contain many comma splices. It’s a technique I use to bring out the rambling, chattering nature of my protagonist’s thoughts.

SARETT: Tell us about your new book!

Ormiston-Smith: Dance of Chaos follows the fortunes of Fiona MacDougall, a young woman who transfers to her company’s infotech department purely because she can get an afternoon off work to sit the aptitude test. Fiona is lazy, frivolous, self-centred and not terribly bright. Her life is one disaster after another as she struggles to cope with the demands of her new job and her disorderly family life.

SARETT: I’m always trying to discover new (or forgotten) humor writers. Do you have suggestions for our readers looking for funny stuff?

Ormiston-Smith: Well, Terry Pratchett, of course, and P G Wodehouse. Both marvellously funny writers. Evelyn Waugh. It doesn’t seem to be a very popular genre.

SARETT: Any new projects in the works that you’d like to share with our readers?

Ormiston-Smith: Well, I have two - one is drafted and rotting down. It’s an historical novel about King John (or the Count of Mortain as he still was in my book), Richard I and Robin Hood. It’s very funny, but historical fiction is a lot of work and it will require extensive revisions.

The other book, which I am currently in the process of writing, will be the third and final volume in the Fiona MacDougall trilogy. I envisage that it will be released next winter (for you Northern Hemisphere types, that would be next summer).

I also plan to release a collection of short fiction, spanning many genres, because I use short stories as a sort of laboratory to play with new things, and at some point there will be a big new edition of Grammar Without Tears.

Follow Tabitha on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tabitha-Ormiston-Smith/137637486306612

goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6428472.Tabitha_Ormiston_Smith

twitter: @Ormiston-Smith

website: http://tormistonsmith.wix.com/tabitha

Buy her books here:
http://www.amazon.com/Tabitha-Ormiston-Smith/e/B004TE35RS
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/RainbowSerpent

The Art Collection and other books are free on Kindle from August 10 to the 12th

Summer promotion:

All of the books listed here are free on Kindle for the next few days. Among them, you can find my last short-format book, THE ART COLLECTION, which contains three stories (about art) that are tinged with the magical and the surreal-- one set in the Northern Catskills, and two set in my neck of the woods, the Main Line of Philadelphia.

You can also download SUMMER DREAMS for free, where my story, "Stranger in Paradise" appears. That one's a bit of a departure for me (with a happy ending)-- but readers found it "spooky" and "entertaining." Hope you'll download it -- and also give these other authors a chance, too.

April Foolishness, Tabitha Ormiston-Smith Reviews

Humorist and grammarian Tabitha Ormiston-Smith has two reviews of funny books in honor of April's Foolishness. I am happy to see that there are new authors to me, which is always fun-- and women, to boot. Both books are available as Kindle editions on Amazon.

A word to the wise: Tabitha's Grammar Without Tears is a very funny and useful little book-- and at the bottom of the page, you can find more about her.

Sex, Lies and Corned Beef Pies! By Georgina Ramsey

It is not often that I discover a writer who does the kind of writing that I do myself. There's Tom Sharpe, there's Terry Pratchett, there was Kingsley Amis, but on the whole the comic novel is a rare animal. So it was with great, great pleasure that I turned, with increasing speed, the opening pages of Sex, Lies and Corned Beef Pies! The bumbling protagonist, her seriously disturbed neighbors, a sweet old man and a lovable curmudgeon of a cat, all entwined in a tale of love, betrayal, self-discovery and cooking, combine to make this a novel that anyone whose sense of humor hasn't been surgically removed is bound to love.

Sorority Girls With Guns, by Cat Caruthers

A classically constructed comedy, this first novel by a new author sparkles like diamonds on a rich person's poodle. I laughed out loud many times reading it, and could hardly put it down. The characters are beautifully drawn and the action moves inexorably to a beautifully satisfying conclusion worthy of William Gilbert, with much drama and many surprises along the way. The writing is so smooth that I can hardly believe it's the author's first work. The dialogue is realistic, and every word is made to count in this wonderful story. The work is polished, with a very few typos to detract from its perfection. One is left to hope only that Caruthers will prove as prolific as she is talented, and that more books by this gifted writer will follow.

Learn more about Tabitha:

Tabitha Ormiston-Smith